Life with Jeeves

I have, up to now, neglected a very important pair of individuals, but no longer!  In this post I shall give you a little shower of quotations from a beloved duo... Jeeves and Wooster!



"If there was a defect in his lordships mode of life, it was that he was a little unduly attached to the pleasures of the table-"

"Ate like a pig, you mean?"

"I would not have ventured to put it quite that way, sir, but the expression does meet the facts of the case...."

- Very Good, Jeeves

"And which of us is going to tell Aunt Agatha that?"

"If I might make a suggestion, sir, I would advise that we omitted to communicate with Mrs. Spenser Gregson in any way. I have your suitcase practically packed. It would be a matter of but a few minutes to bring the car around from the garage--"

"And off over the horizon to where men are men?"

"Precisely, sir."

"Jeeves," I said. "I'm not sure that even now I can altogether see eye to eye with regard to your recent activities. You think you have scattered light and sweetness on every side. I am not so sure. However, with this latest suggestion you have rung the bell. I examine it narrowly and I find no flaw in it. It is the goods. I'll get the car at once."

"Very good, sir."

"Remember what the poet Shakespeare said, Jeeves."

"What was that, sir?"

"'Exit hurriedly, pursued by a bear'. You'll find it in one of his plays. I remember drawing a picture of it on the side of the page, when I was at school."

- Very Good, Jeeves

 



I don't know if you know that sort of feeling you get on those days round about the end of April and the beginning of May, when the sky's a light blue, with cotton-wool clouds, and there's a bit of a breeze blowing from the west? Kind of uplifted feeling. Romantic, if you know what I mean. I'm not much of a ladies' man, but on this particular morning it seemed to me that what I really wanted was for some charming girl to buzz up and ask me to save her from assassins or something. So it was a bit of an anti-climax when I merely ran into young Bingo Little, looking perfectly foul in a crimson satin tie decorated with horseshoes.

- The Inimitable Jeeves

"Jeeves," I said. "A rummy communication has arrived from Mr. Glossop."

"Indeed, sir?"

"I will read it to you. Handed in at Upper Bleaching. Message runs as follows:

"'When you come tomorrow, bring my football boots. Also, if humanly possible, Irish water-spaniel. Urgent. Regards. Tuppy.'

"What do you make of that, Jeeves?"

"As I interpret the document, sir, Mr. Glossop wishes you, when you come tomorrow, to bring his football boots. Also, if humanly possible, an Irish water-spaniel. He hints that the matter is urgent, and sends his regards."

"Yes, that's how I read it, too."

- Very Good, Jeeves