"It's wonderful what one can teach when one tries."

Having been unjustly "sent down" for "indecent behavior" and having been temporarily - and conveniently - cast off by his Uncle, Paul Pennyfeather is looking for a job.  This is a rather humorous excerpt from his conversation with Mr. Levy of the employment agency, taken from Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh.  (I am in the middle of this book right now, and have little doubt that I shall have more to say about it when I have finished it ;-))



     "Private and Confidential Notice of Vacancy.

     "Augustus Fagan, Esquire, Ph. D., Llanabba Castle, N. Wales, requires immediately junior assistant master to teach Classics and English to University Standard with Subsidiary Mathematics, German, and French.  Experience essential; first-class games essential.

     "Status of School: School.

     "Salary offered: £120 resident post.

     "Reply promptly but carefully to Dr. Fagan ('Esq., Ph. D., on envelope), enclosing copies of testimonials and photographs, if considered advisable, mentioning that you have heard of the vacancy through us."

     "Might have been made for you," said Mr. Levy.

     "But I don't know a word of German, I've had no experience, I've got no testimonials, and I can't play cricket."

     "It doesn't do to be too modest," said Mr. Levy.  "It's wonderful what one can teach when one tries.  Why, only last term we sent a man who had never been in a laboratory in his life as a senior Science Master to one of our leading public schools.  He came wanting to do private coaching in music.  He's doing very well, I believe.  Besides, Dr. Fagan can't expect all that for the salary he's offering.  Between ourselves, Llanabba hasn't a good name in the profession.  We class schools, you see, into four grades: Leading School, First-rate School, Good School, and School.  Frankly," said Mr. Levy, "School is pretty bad.  I think you'll find it a very suitable post.  So far as I know, there are only two other candidates, and one of them is totally deaf, poor fellow."